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bah [Sunday, February 25th, 2007 2:48pm]
so im stuck without a phone or the internet for a couple days. well a phone ill have by tues but the internet i dont know when..

im gonna be so bored. all i have is the tv. im updating from irenes comp right now. ill just have to come here and check up on everything.
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my head hurts [Monday, February 5th, 2007 8:11pm]
[ mood | sad ]

i just keep thinking about what i wanna do. do i wanna stay here or move to cali?

nick keeps me sane. i dont wanna loose him..but at the same time i hate everything here. i dont wanna live here anymore.

we're moving back to the house. im not thrilled about it. i wish i could live on my own. i just dont wanna hear anyone yell at me about moving back. i dont wanna stuck in the middle..yet again.

im watching bob ross painting. it makes me sad to watch painting ever since i lost my photoshop paintings. im so pissed off at myself. i wanna create new ones but i dont know if i have the patience.

im suppose to be going to the doctors on Thur. if my period goes away by then. otherwise i have to reschedual. i have to have get 2 ultra sounds and a cat scan. im not looking forward to it.

its so cold. im tired. i gotta call nick. i just wanna sleep.

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so... [Thursday, January 18th, 2007 1:39am]
i deleted my photoshop paintings when i reformatted. yup. i forgot to save them. im pissed at myself and sad. they took me forever to do. only one survived .....Collapse )
..and thats not even the final version of that one. :/ ill just have to start from scratch.
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bored [Monday, January 15th, 2007 11:33am]
i havent been feeling good lately. i started getting migraines again and now im getting pressure in my lower back. i cant eat anything. im hungry but if i eat i just get a stomach ache and my head kills.
i went to the doctors and she gave me lexapro for stress and anxiety and relpax for the migraines. i took both of them and didnt feel the greatest. im not sure which one caused it. probably the relpax. im waiting for my lab results. they took a urine sample and my stones. i wanna know whats up already. i called today but i had to leave a message. now i wait.. this lady called me back and said my urine sample was fine but i was suppose to get blood drawn. plus they wanna do an ultrasound of my thryoid becuz my doctor said it felt enlarged...yea, thats just what i need..something else wrong with me.

we celebrated Irenes bday Sat. it was me and Nick, Irene and Mike, Angie and Bryan, 2 of Angies friends, Nikki and Matt, Kara and Jamie. all couples that night. lol. it was fun. we danced around. Nick karaoked to Madonna and Cher. hes crazy. we dedicated Frank Sinatra to Irene. i sucked at bowling. my highest score was like a 60. one time i didnt even break 40. it was pretty sad. it took me like 3 rounds to warm up. ha. Nick got so drunk. he had to spend the night here. it wasnt fun trying to get him up 3 flights of stairs. but luckily he was conscience enough to kind of help himself. i just had to keep him from shifting to the right. the next day we pretty much just layed in bed and watched tv.

i feel dead. im a walking corpse right now. i have no energy, no personality..nothing. all i wanna do is sleep. its not a depressing sleep, its more just me being weak and i dont wanna move..and when i have to i do it slumberly. my eyes are half shut, dark circles. i look like death in human form.
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Cat's last night [Saturday, January 6th, 2007 12:52pm]
[ mood | groggy ]

iv got so much thats been going on its hard to say where to start..

Cat was home for a couple weeks. she left this morning. i miss her already. itll be boring without someone who understands me completely. we had lots of fun tho. got some songs recorded, took lots of pics(even in the rain haha) and drank some.

last night was fun. it was her last night here so we were gonna go to the half penny pub but we decided since it was raining and shitty and the place looked stupid that we wouldnt. so we went to applebees. let me just take a sec to explain how much we ate. we both had cookies in the morning..chicken, broccoli and rice for dinner..cookies(since the gelato place was closed grr) for dessert..then when we went to applebees we got drinks and the appetizer sampler(we ate the whole thing! lol), plus dessert there too. yea..a lot of food. i got a mudslide. its so good. Cat got a carmel appletini. it was good the first sip but then it gets really bitter tasting. so we shared the mudslide. aww. after that we didnt know what to do cuz it was raining really bad. everything was dead. we went downtown, up by the SU hill..all dead. so we tried going to play pool, but they were closing early due to the computers being down. boo. so then we were really lost on what to do. but i wanted to see my nicholas so we went into town and saw his car. we went to the grill and found him. he was drunk, of course. so that was interesting and fun. but lots of food i shouldnt be eating + drinking = michelle feeling like shit the next day. yea..we took lots of pics so they will come soon.

everything is pretty much ok. i got my health insurance and im probably gonna have to go bankrupt on my medical bills. :/

Jill still hasnt had the baby. we're just waiting it out.

if u havent already, check out our new songs: http://www.myspace.com/poortuesday
let us know what u think!

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im back [Friday, November 10th, 2006 4:02am]
not gone for too long but im back now. we're in the new aprt and everythings going ok. im a bit lost tho. i walk in circles cuz i dont know what to do.

couple events that happened:
.i went to the temp agency(have yet to hear back)
.irenes car battery died so i had to walk down to a sunoco
.nicks my booyfriend(cuz i call him my boo and he wants to be my bf..so we meet half way)..we're dating but not officially..at least in my eyes
.saturday i hung out with john for the first time by ourselves. normally wed hang out and cat and dan would be there. but it was just me and him. it was fun times

im so glad to be out of Jills, but part of me misses being around the kids. it was just annoying and loud. um...i dunno..i guess thats it.

its just been a lot of moving and trying to get back on track.im still getting things together. i like the aprt, its just different. i have no where to go. im so bored.

nicks spending the night tomorrow...uh oh. :P saturday is jills bday. happy bday to john. today is his bday. my dads is the 19th. everyone is in nov! crazy.

iv been watching a lot of court tv. we didnt have cable for a while so the only thing that was on with an antena was court tv. yea..got boring after a while.

i dunno. i think thats about it for tonight.
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sounds familiar [Tuesday, October 31st, 2006 6:35pm]
Happy Halloween!

im so glad a year later iv got more pain in my side. how lucky am i?

we got the aprt. its ours now but we cant move in until probably next week. it depends on when we can get our stuff moved.

im gonna go apply at the holiday inn for a hostess. if i dont get it im still gonna go to eckerds.

its so boring here. i dont know what to do with myself. i cant play my guitar and theres no cable. all i have is the internet and a few channels on tv. it doesnt last me all day.

im going out tonight with jill's kids. i dont know whats going on after that.

well, theres an update for u. im still alive. everything is ok..not the best..but it will be soon.
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hello [Saturday, October 28th, 2006 8:01am]
its 8am and im in the dark with jasmine snoring away next to me. :P

i might have another kidney stone. :/ i went to urgent care last night. i was in so much pain for like an hour. poor nick sat there for 3 1/2 hours waiting for me. my pee was DARK. gross. i gotta go monday to my doctor and get a cat scan.

things are hectic here. we're going to look at condos today. i hope things go well so we can get out of here. but if i move out, ill def not have the internet for probably a week. but ill let u know.

i gotta go shower and get ready to move stuff.
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farewell for now [Thursday, October 26th, 2006 1:29am]
shit hit the fan in my house and we're moving out. i wont have the internet for a while. but ill check in every once and while. if u know me, ull know how to get ahold of me. everyone else, ill ttys.
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uh huh [Monday, October 23rd, 2006 9:15pm]
[ mood | cold ]

me and my mom are most likely moving out. we dont know where we're going but we probably are. scott talked to her and he knows that she hasnt forgiven him but he didnt wanna leave us stranded with no home or money. so he basically told her they shouldnt be together anymore.

in a way im happy but im also thinking wtf are we gonna do. we gotta find a house to rent..cuz neither of us wanna move back into an apartment. fuck that. i would never record. ur neighbors would hear everything. she wants a house tho too. so hopefully we can find one. i gotta find a job now.

i hung out with nick today. he made me and his roomies dinner. it was good...minus the damn peas! me and jen were picking thru the peas to get the corn. lol.

yesterday me and irene had to go to my dads to take a shower cuz scott was redoing the bathroom..again. we had to go their to go to the bathroom too. it was funny. we're like hey dad, we're here to use ur bathroom. heh.
irene treated me to dinner at unos. it was good. then we went to kohls. of course i couldnt buy anything. pfft.

im so cold and tired. my head is still killing me. my side has been hurting. i dont like that cuz last time it was kidney stones. i dont want that back. i havent been taking my vitamins or nose spray. my doctor is gonna be mad. i cant get in the groove of taking all this medicine. i hate it. it takes me forever to wanna pick up a drink and swallow pills. i dont get it. it takes 2 secs but its a pain in the ass.

bah. im bored so im rambling about nothing.

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last night [Sunday, October 8th, 2006 9:56am]
well yesterday started off bad becuz Angie decided to stiff out on me. before that Brandie had called me back and said she couldnt go..which i wasnt expecting her to becuz i figured she already had plans. she wants to hang out sometime soon tho. so by then i was just pretty upset. then Nick called and thankfully he was still hanging out with me. he picked me up and we went to Jill's(becuz she doesnt have a phone for me to get ahold of her) and i was just gonna leave her a note on what happened, but she was home. so she said becuz she has the rental, why not do something anyways.
so then me and Nick went back to his place and watched this movie Mike suggested called Highway. it was a messed up movie. it was alright. jack and jilly went up the hilly haha. that part when hes fucking the mobsters wife..that was pretty...interesting.
anyways..Jen and Mike wanted to go out to dinner so we were gonna go to the Texas Roadhouse, cuz it just opened, but there were way too many people. so we went Applebees. i tried a mudslide that Jen got. it tasted just like chocolate milk. the food was good. then we went back to Nick's and just chilled for a little bit. i called Jill up and asked if she still wanted to go out and she did. so we went back over to her house and she drove.
we went to Uno's..becuz we couldnt decide where to go..and she got a dessert and a chocolate monkey(alcohol free for the prego lol) Nick got beer and i got an amaretto sour. it wouldve been good if it wasnt so damn sour. Jill said it wasnt made right. so the guy came back and we told him that. so we got it for FREE! haha. so then becuz i told them my bday was on Tuesday, they gave me ANOTHER free drink. they had me try this pomegranate margarita. it was DISGUSTING. blah! no way. Nick and Jill liked it. Nick took it and drank some of it. heh. yea, drinking is not for me..even tho i already new that.
on our way there we had decided, if we had enough time, we were gonna go on a hayride. the fair had "fright night" so we went there. they had the creature, circus of clowns and the hayride. we couldnt decided which one we wanted to pay $10 to see. the lady was nice at the booth. she said becuz we couldnt decide, and there were only 3 combo tickets left, she would give them to us for $6 each. so that was kewl.

hayride: LAME! no one came to our side. we basically just sat there and cracked jokes. we think some of the guys mustve ran into the trees as they were trying to pop out becuz we heard the "grrr" and trees moving but no one came out....ha. at the very end of it this girl screamed..very badly.."somebody help me". yea, guys with chainsaws. they didnt come to our end. they just sucked. but we were warned by the booth lady that people said it was lame.

(mind u, this whole time im going on all of these, i had to pee so fuckin bad..not good)

the creature: we walk in. 2 ladies are walking back out. i thought they were just working there or somethin. nope. they went in before us and were too scared to actually go thru it. so they FOLLOWED us! they were like wait for us! yea ok. Nick led us. one part there was this giant ball looking thing. Nick couldnt figure out how to get around it. haha. so blah blah blah about that. again LAME!

circus of clowms: before we even get in, some kid came out of it saying it was bad. so we go in. i didnt even really have to hold onto Nick that time. but we held hands. ehhe. Jill was in last again. haha. she hates being last. i offered to be in the back. every thing i came across i just talked to the thing. this one clown i said to him "arent u suppose to be working?"..cuz he was just standing there opening like a side door or somethin. yet again, LAME!

it was a good laugh tho. every time Nick would come around a corner or somethin he would say "whats up dude". lol. so me and Jill would expect something. that was part of the reason it wasnt scary. but either way, even if i had gone with just me and Jill, i dont think i wouldve been scared.

i dunno. maybe im just getting old. but i really wanna be scared out of my mind on a haunted hayride or walk. hopefully when me and Irene go next weekend, we'll find somewhere good.

all in all it was a fun-ny night.
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:) [Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006 8:10am]
Happy Birthday to me!

i woke up about 10 mins ago to Irene coming in my room with 4 bouquets of flowers and a bag full of almond joy, york peppermint patties and hershey bars with a Pirates of the Caribbean poster...guess from who?........................Nick! hahahaha. omg. hes so fuckin sweet. i luv it. im already happy and its only 8:11am.

my stomach is a bit off tho..thanx to Irene being sick. she better not get me sick cuz im going out to dinner with him tonight. ill be so pissed.
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what to do [Sunday, October 1st, 2006 8:11pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

where does a non drinker go with a bunch of drinkers for her 21st bday?

seriously. i have no fuckin clue what to do for my bday. i dont wanna drink. but the people im going out with do drink and probably will wanna. its not up to them but still..i dont know what to do thats not lame.

im fine with just going out to dinner, but what do i do after?

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weekend fun [Monday, September 25th, 2006 11:26am]
[ mood | hungry ]

Saturday: i went out to oswego to the fall jamboree. it was pretty kewl. i picked apples for the first time..right off the trees. :) and we went on a horse ride. that was kind of lame. we didnt do too much there becuz everywhere u went u had to get on a tractor, unless u wanted to walk..which with 3 kids, no. i got a carmel apple from there. omg. the best frickin one iv ever had. the apple was so juicy and the carmel and nuts..mmmm. lol. and i got some homemade fudge. that was pretty good. i wanted to get a pumpkin pie but i didnt wanna spend anymore money.
i didnt go to the movies with John becuz he got called into work. :/

Sunday: Nick came over. we went for a walk. since Mike was over me and Irene cooked dinner and we ate that. it was good this time. pork chops, chicken, rice and broccoli. we did good. :)
then we all watched The Grudge..becuz none of them had ever seen it. pfft. yea. it wasnt scary the second time around but trying to go to sleep..yea right. i left the night on all night. lol.

i went to bed at like 10pm, i think. i kept waking up about every 2 hours becuz i couldnt breathe. but then when id try to fall back asleep, every time id close my eyes id get that girl's face from The Grudge in my head, creeping up from under my bed. so id just watch tv til id get so tired my eyes wouldnt stay open. that was probably the worst sleep i ever had.

i had to bring my mom to work cuz she needed me to go pick up a form from the doctors and pay her kohls bill. plus i had to go pick Jill up from the car rental place to get home. i still have to go to kohls. blah.

im starting to not like having my license. when u dont do anything all day people want u to do everything for them. but it gets me out of this house so i dont care that much.

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i fuckin hate my moms husband [Tuesday, September 19th, 2006 6:43pm]
[ mood | angry ]

im not even calling him my step dad anymore. hes a fuckin sick piece of shit. fuckin talks shit about me. fuck that!

i cant wait to go out to cali. im getting the fuck out of here. i cant stand the people around here anymore. the only person out here worth any time is nick.

im so fuckin pissed off right now. says shit to my mom. i had my door open u stupid fuck. like i couldnt hear u.

Cat said shed help me come out to see her and im going. i dont give a fuck who doesnt like it. i gotta get out of here.

my ocd is kicking up. my ticks are bad. im getting nervous and depressed again.

i know i keep saying it but i really gotta change my life now.

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itchy winky [Sunday, September 17th, 2006 9:47pm]
[ mood | tired ]

i hung out with Nick today. it was pretty fun. we ended up going to the skate park out in Canastota. Shae had to rent a helmet(cuz u have to wear one) and it was a construction hat. lol. he rocked it tho. i was glad that Jen(Mike's gf) came. i had someone to talk to while the guys were skating. Jen brought Kayleigh and she was getting antsy so she wanted to leave. Kayleigh peed on me. haha. so Jen offered to bring me home and change. so me and her left and i changed and we went back to the house and watched tv. the guys brought home some mcy ds. we just all kind of chilled on the porch. i stole Nick's cigs again. haha. yup. im gonna have a collection.

to explain my subject title...we were talking about shows we used to watch and Nick was joking about teletubbies and was naming them off and he said itchy winky instead of tinky winky. lol. it was funny shit.

so to sum things up i went to a skate park and sweat and got peed on and itchy winky. :P

my fuckin ear is hurting again. i probably shouldnt be going out just yet. even tho im not like dieing sickness i still am sick and i get worn out real quick.
i gotta call the doctors tomorrow and find out my blood test results.

now im gonna go back to eating chocolate.

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verdict is [Wednesday, September 13th, 2006 2:20pm]
fluids in my ears and sinus. plus i had to take blood cuz the doctor thinks im anemic. i have 2 pills i have to take and nose spray. plus the doctor wants me to eat more leafy greens and get a magnesium pill and either centrum or one a day.

yea. fun times.

theres so much pressure in my head. ugh. im hungry and theres nothing to eat. i cant take my medicine on an empty stomach. :/
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first time [Monday, September 4th, 2006 2:12pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

i got to drive by myself today. no one in the passenger side, no one ahead of me watching. it felt awesome. so free. :P

im gonna have the truck tomorrow. im gonna drive my mom to work. she said i could drive aroud by myself and get used to it. but i have nothing to do. so i guess ill just be cruisin around.

im hungry but i cant cook becuz Irene and my mom are painting the kitchen. :/ i want food!

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random [Saturday, August 19th, 2006 10:53pm]
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is funny as hell. its like a comedy/action film. me and irene went to blockbuster to find a movie and couldnt find a damn thing. as we're looking this kid who works there comes up and asks if he could help us find anything so we asked him what movie we should get and he suggested that one. at times its confusing but the humor just keeps going thruout the movie. its definately worth renting.

Harry: I peed on the corpse. Can they do, like, an ID from that?
Perry: I'm sorry, you peed on...?
Harry: On the corpse. My question is...
Perry: No, my question. I get to go first. Why in pluperfect hell would you pee on corpse?
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blah [Saturday, August 19th, 2006 7:09pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

iv been trying to redo my layout for myspace..since no one liked the one i had. this one girl made a basic layout, but with a twist. im waiting for her to send me codes for it. til then, my layout is no more.

i hung out with Nick last night. we ate at Uno's and then went back to his house. we just chilled with his friend Mike..talking and listening to music.

my mom is going into surgery Tuesday. she has to go earlier than she planned becuz her gull bladder is leaking fluids causing an infection in her body. im gonna have to help around the house and help get her stuff for a couple weeks. she wont be able to do much. but knowing my mom she'll be up and going the next day..cuz thats who she is. heh.

im in for the night. i need to go lay down and relax my neck and back.

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